George Rebane
Today we observe Cristofo’s grand achievement in 1492 that started the European conquest of the Americas – the Vikings blew their attempt about 500 years earlier. This national holiday is specifically eschewed in Hawaii, Nevada, and, of course, California. Nevertheless, I was reminded by a reader that RR would be remiss in not taking note of this auspicious beginning.
Actually, on this day I want to commend Queen Isabella of Spain for launching the three ships. It was her investment that made the Italian’s trip possible, being the first among his countrymen to arrive in this hemisphere ‘without papers’, thereby establishing the denigrating ethnic label to a generation and more Italians who followed him 400 years later. But that’s another story.
Here I wish to draw your attention to one of the most momentous of all government investments – and it truly was an investment, totally unlike the spending programs of today – to find a shorter route to India, since Portugal ruled the long route around Africa to trade with that fabled land.

So anyway, Columbus sailed bravely onto an ocean that many thought would come to an abrupt end at the edge of the world as depicted in many woodcuts of the time. After a long voyage he blundered into a new hemisphere instead, while still believing that he had landed on some outer archipelago of Asia. But then who knew. The map he got from his subscription to the National Geographic of the day was drawn by some clown named Toscanelli who should have opened a restaurant instead.
Later voyages by true Spaniards – they got the WOP out of the way, and even prosecuted him for some financial shenanigans – confirmed that this was a new world, and that it contained riches beyond their wildest dreams as soon as they could get rid of some pesky Indians.
After the peskier Indians were dispatched, the remainder were put to work digging out and hauling in unimaginable amounts of gold that was then shipped off to Spain. Some of it got nailed by hurricanes and pirates, which again is another story. But here I’d like emphasize what the Spanish government did with their windfall.
The first thing they did was to establish a behavior that has come to be known as ‘spending money like drunken sailors’, which is exactly what they did for the next three centuries. (This part of California's Spanish heritage is still practiced in Sacramento.) Who needed to work when all that gold was coming in? It was all eat, drink, and make Mary, or merry, or was it war? The bottom line is that like all governments, Spain spent itself silly for 300 years until the gold shipments stopped, mostly through the efforts of Spain’s European neighbors like the French and the English, whom the profligate Spaniards had managed to piss off to a fair thee well with successive attacks, wars, and other sundry intrigues.
In the 19th century Spain was broke, and through revolution and competitive imperialism it managed to lose all the possessions in the New World it had discovered. America, flexing newly found international muscles, put a bow on the whole sordid affair in 1898 with the foisted Spanish-American War in which Spain lost its remaining overseas possessions – we got Cuba and the Philippines, and some other sundry real estate. And Spain was reduced to making sangria for tourists, and muttering something about their shoulda, coulda, wouldas.
By the way, Spain learned nothing from its centuries long government spending. In the 20th century Spaniards gave various forms of socialism a try, settling finally on what we today know as the European model. This got them into policies that called for even more ‘investments’ in things like green energy, public employee pensions, 25% unemployment, and a national debt up to their collective interglutial cleft.
So happy Columbus Day, and the next time you hear someone from Washington talk about government investments, consider the sad tale of España. Ole!
Today we observe Cristofo’s grand achievement in 1492 that started the European conquest of the Americas – the Vikings blew their attempt about 500 years earlier. This national holiday is specifically eschewed in Hawaii, Nevada, and, of course, California. Nevertheless, I was reminded by a reader that RR would be remiss in not taking note of this auspicious beginning.
Actually, on this day I want to commend Queen Isabella of Spain for launching the three ships. It was her investment that made the Italian’s trip possible, being the first among his countrymen to arrive in this hemisphere ‘without papers’, thereby establishing the denigrating ethnic label to a generation and more Italians who followed him 400 years later. But that’s another story.
Here I wish to draw your attention to one of the most momentous of all government investments – and it truly was an investment, totally unlike the spending programs of today – to find a shorter route to India, since Portugal ruled the long route around Africa to trade with that fabled land.
So anyway, Columbus sailed bravely onto an ocean that many thought would come to an abrupt end at the edge of the world as depicted in many woodcuts of the time. After a long voyage he blundered into a new hemisphere instead, while still believing that he had landed on some outer archipelago of Asia. But then who knew. The map he got from his subscription to the National Geographic of the day was drawn by some clown named Toscanelli who should have opened a restaurant instead.
Later voyages by true Spaniards – they got the WOP out of the way, and even prosecuted him for some financial shenanigans – confirmed that this was a new world, and that it contained riches beyond their wildest dreams as soon as they could get rid of some pesky Indians.
After the peskier Indians were dispatched, the remainder were put to work digging out and hauling in unimaginable amounts of gold that was then shipped off to Spain. Some of it got nailed by hurricanes and pirates, which again is another story. But here I’d like emphasize what the Spanish government did with their windfall.
The first thing they did was to establish a behavior that has come to be known as ‘spending money like drunken sailors’, which is exactly what they did for the next three centuries. (This part of California's Spanish heritage is still practiced in Sacramento.) Who needed to work when all that gold was coming in? It was all eat, drink, and make Mary, or merry, or was it war? The bottom line is that like all governments, Spain spent itself silly for 300 years until the gold shipments stopped, mostly through the efforts of Spain’s European neighbors like the French and the English, whom the profligate Spaniards had managed to piss off to a fair thee well with successive attacks, wars, and other sundry intrigues.
In the 19th century Spain was broke, and through revolution and competitive imperialism it managed to lose all the possessions in the New World it had discovered. America, flexing newly found international muscles, put a bow on the whole sordid affair in 1898 with the foisted Spanish-American War in which Spain lost its remaining overseas possessions – we got Cuba and the Philippines, and some other sundry real estate. And Spain was reduced to making sangria for tourists, and muttering something about their shoulda, coulda, wouldas.
By the way, Spain learned nothing from its centuries long government spending. In the 20th century Spaniards gave various forms of socialism a try, settling finally on what we today know as the European model. This got them into policies that called for even more ‘investments’ in things like green energy, public employee pensions, 25% unemployment, and a national debt up to their collective interglutial cleft.
So happy Columbus Day, and the next time you hear someone from Washington talk about government investments, consider the sad tale of España. Ole!
Columbus might have reached China if he hadn't used Apple maps.
Posted by: Earl Crabb | 08 October 2012 at 04:39 PM
EarlC 439pm - spoken like a true Neandroid.
Posted by: George Rebane | 08 October 2012 at 04:48 PM
Hey, my first love was from Spain, so I always cut them some slack. While it is generally true that the British set up rule of law, justice systems, economic development, infrastructure across their Empire, the Spanish came and plundered, stole, burned libraries (aka Cortez)and forced topless women to put on clothes. Darn them. Forced religious conversion just like the Moorish pigs. OK, Spanish (Spain) bashing is over. England grabbed a couple of North American counties, put the Spaniards grabbed a whole bunch of Central America and South America. Well, not Brazil but I digress. The bigger they are, the harder they fall. Heard homes are cheap in Barcelona.
http://en.elconfidencial.com/opinion/2012/08/28/massive-subsidies-endanger-spanish-energy-reform--72/
Posted by: billy T | 08 October 2012 at 05:17 PM
I just wish the damn banks were open. But thank god it's no longer a school holiday. Progress!
Posted by: Michael Anderson | 08 October 2012 at 05:26 PM
George,
Toscanelli should have drawn a much better map, according to Gavin Menzies, writing in 1421. He should have had access to the China maps, and perhaps those of the Portuguese who are already settling the island that we know as Port Rico. At least the maps dated to 1447 shows the island. I highly recommend reading 1421, The Year China Discovered America. The maps that Menzies discovered in the historical vaults in Europe are most interesting and call into question the history that we were taught in grade school. Columbus knew where he was going, he just missed the turn south to the isthmus.
Posted by: Russ Steele | 08 October 2012 at 06:15 PM
I'm completely torn by Columbus's adventure as well as others that followed.
It's been pointed out by more than one historian that while the invaders brought small pox, the Native "Americans" happily dispatched syphilis. It's not a clear picture who's the bad guy. I tend to side with the natives, but that makes me allies with the Aztecs who enjoyed roasted babies with tomato and mole. (that's not hyperbole, unfortunately. Although there is something funny to this GenXer in a South Park kind of way about that)
So I guess it's another gray area. Historical Revisionism cuts both ways.
Posted by: Ryan Mount | 08 October 2012 at 07:28 PM
Ryan,
Columbus does nothing for me. Way over-rated.
I'm much more of a Henry Hudson kinda guy.
Michael A.
Posted by: Michael Anderson | 08 October 2012 at 07:42 PM
I do believe the guys with horns on their helmets got here first, but they just didn't make a big deal out of it. Viking style symbols and small villages have been found on the Northern Eastern shores. Maybe I need to add some antlers to my helmet too. I have more of their blood in my veins than Izzy Warren's claim of Cherokee. I'm about half Swede on my Mamma's side.
No wonder I like those "Capital One" guys.
Posted by: Walt | 08 October 2012 at 07:47 PM
Michael for the win! I owe you a drink. Cheers pal.
Posted by: Ryan Mount | 08 October 2012 at 07:54 PM
Unless Puerto Rico had a native population, it would be very easy to find and date European fires. Coins work well too.
Posted by: TomKenworth | 08 October 2012 at 11:28 PM
It had a native population, clever sailors!
Posted by: TomKenworth | 08 October 2012 at 11:30 PM
http://www.redicecreations.com/article.php?id=2123
Posted by: TomKenworth | 08 October 2012 at 11:30 PM
> US archaeologist Nathan Mountjoy sits next stones etched with ancient petroglyphs and graves that reveal...
...ancient parade routes of proto-Puerto Ricans. Other petroglyphs depict police actions after noise complaints.
Posted by: Ryan Mount | 09 October 2012 at 06:05 AM
Why not 4 simple steps?
Posted by: Michael Anderson | 27 November 2012 at 11:46 PM
Michael-
Because 1 more makes it not simple. It becomes moderately simple after 3. Complicated at 6. Impossible due to boredom at 11.
Posted by: Ryan Mount | 28 November 2012 at 06:05 AM
Ryan, thanks for the clarification.
Posted by: Michael Anderson | 28 November 2012 at 07:44 AM
Michael-
NP. Let me know if you need answers to any other questions. I'm particular skilled at
1) "how many _____ does it take to screw in a light bulb" questions
2) assessing things on a 1 to 10 scale
3) deciphering Continental Post-Modern critical theory
4) explicating the nuances of Puerto Rican parade culture.
Posted by: Ryan Mount | 28 November 2012 at 08:01 AM